Feeling stressed? It's all made up.
But before you get angry with me at suggesting it, please read on…
Many leaders are experiencing stress right now. In my work, I see that every day. Whether it be the constant drive to achieve more for less, 24-7 working, toxic organisational cultures, the political and economic uncertainty, globalisation, or all of the above – stress seems to be at an all-time high.
Leaders are feeling the strain as their organisations and shareholders strive to maximise profits and maintain their place in a rapidly changing and seemingly insecure world. The strain impacts your wellbeing, your effectiveness and in turn your performance. There is no hiding place.
It's a big part of my professional life (and me as a human being) to empathise with what many business leaders are going through. However, I know there is a simple solution.
Before I expand on that though, I want to share Mike's experience with you: Mike is a newly promoted senior director at a large marketing agency. Many people had congratulated him on his new role - the result of hard work and his many talents. But he's spent no time celebrating. He's too busy thinking about the challenges of the new role and whether his new boss and peers will value him.
His thoughts are centred around:
Not really having faith in his potential
Fear of being “found out”
Worrying what others think
Overly concerned that the worst may happen
Not focussing on the good of the situation, nor on his incredible strengths and qualities, Mike is already feeling stressed. And he hasn't even started the new role. This will affect everything and it's easy to see how his thinking is colouring his whole experience, at a time that should be exciting for him.
Many of us will be able to relate to what Mike is going through, at least in part. So let me ask you - do you experience any of these right now?
A noisy or over-analytical mind
Feeling worried about important events at work
Sometimes questioning your confidence
Feeling like you lack resilience
Needing a holiday just to recover from the pressures
Always feeling like you're “on”
It doesn't have to be this way. I'm serious.
The simple keys to a stress-free life
A shift in your thinking is the only real cure to a stress-free existence. And there are two (life-changing) elements to this.
1. Realise that it's only your thinking that causes your stress, not the outside world
“What you experience in any moment comes from your thinking and nothing else.” - Manning, Charbit and Krot, Invisible Power
The society within which we live operates within the understanding that stress is caused by external events. The job, our boss, the economy, the political situation, what others say or do – the list of possible factors is endless. All of this seems to dictate how we feel. Period.
This way of perceiving the world and our own experience leaves us feeling vulnerable and stressed because we really have very little (or no) control over any of those things. We become like King Canute, trying to prevent the ocean from doing what it does, and getting soaked in the process.
But what if I was to challenge that worldview? And say that psychologically this is not how the mind works - that our thinking creates every experience we have. Our mind is both the creator and experiencer of everything. You see, it's only our thinking that ever creates our stress.
This is why I was bold (and perhaps controversial) in the title to state that stress is made up. Regardless of what you’ve got going on, however huge and significant the challenges, your thought is still creating it.
If you get this deeply, understanding that we are creating our experience moment by moment with our thinking, then you stop blaming the outside world and the people within it.
And that's hugely liberating.
2. Realise what thought is.
“The mind is not so much a camera as a paintbrush…, and we are the artist.” - Michael Neill
We each live in an experience of the world created by our thoughts. And we accept our thought, as if it’s all true.
But thought is simply thought. It's electrical neural activity, it generates an experience (sometimes valid often not), and it’s changing and changeable.
Think about it - have you ever worried about something, convinced that it was going to happen? You live immersed in the experience knowing what the outcome will be. Then the very thing doesn’t actually happen.
Our thought is convincing us and tricking us with everything like that. It's all created by our thinking – what we believe about the situation, how we experience it, what we feel about it. It's a user-generated world.
Our mental habits create the stress. For example:
“This job is impossible”
“My boss doesn't like me”
“I’m stressed”
“I just don’t have enough time”
Whilst this all will feel very real, it’s not true. They represent experiences that are made up of thought alone - and this, in turn, becomes the box within which we live.
Of course, it's very easy to get lost in the content of your own thoughts - believing them and being boxed-in by them. When you see that they alone are creating your experience you'll have a profound shift in how you see your world.
You can eliminate much of your stress, just by not buying into your thinking. It's that simple.
The best-selling author and transformative coach, Michael Neill once said, if you can't put something in a wheelbarrow it’s not real. The list above can’t be put in a wheelbarrow. So, therefore, please don’t buy into it!
When you’re not blaming the outside world or buying into your thoughts, you discover an easier way of being. A way of being that involves more time “in the zone”, more able to connect to and live from a place of freedom and effectiveness.
You simply need to reflect on how your mind actually works. Spend time to realise what you’re actually doing within your head.
This is the path of inner wisdom and of course a stress-free working life.
If you'd like to listen to your inner wisdom then email us at chat@be-unbounded.com and let’s have a chat.
