The Disease of Impatience
Do you suffer from being impatient?
(if so, I challenge you to be patient and read to the end of this blog)
There's a natural rhythm to life
There's a universal rhythm & timing to life. All of nature is operating in this 'natural' rhythm. Look at the seasons, and at global weather patterns. Look at the trees growing, birds migrating, ants building nests, predators catching prey. Look at the cycle of life from birth to death. It's all happening in this natural flow. There are of course moments of accelerated speed, but there's no impatience.
We forget and it has implications
Humans are unaware of or forget about this natural rhythm of life, when they operate in impatience. It's one of the greatest human diseases on our planet. Impatience generates agitated energy. And the result is, it limits effectiveness & our potential. It has us be erratic or make snap decisions. It undermines our health and wellbeing. It also reduces our ability to be present with and connect well with others.
We even convince ourselves it could be good?
We can of course convince ourselves that impatience is a good thing. Impatience helps us get lots done quickly. Some would argue that it also prevents complacency.
But this is dangerous thinking. Impatience is rooted in agitation. Anything rooted in agitation has an unhealthy undercurrent. Results will be unreliable and there will be unintended consequences to us or those around us.
We only need to observe the state of our world & society to see the result of our impatience and our short-term thinking. Our short-term thinking means we often are attracted to the quick solution not the wise solution.
The Fight & flight state
Impatience is not a natural feature of the human character, rather it is a result of the loss of our natural rhythm at a biological level. If you're impatient, your breath will be shallow, and you will be often living in the sympathetic autonomic nervous system (ANS). This is the fight-flight mode, that generates adrenaline and cortisol in your body. It's ideal for fighting or fleeing, but it isn't a mode to live in for long periods. Living and working in this state for long periods is unhealthy. It stresses the mind and body, and makes us more susceptible to disease and illness.
Your natural state - link back to the top
Impatience actually means you have stopped embracing your natural state. Some people might call this natural state - flow. Flow is a state from which we can relax, be aware, be considered, be kind, be creative, and be productive. It's an effortless relaxed state, and yet you can still get a huge amount of 'stuff done'...and the beauty is you can operate well without the rational mind fighting, striving, struggling.
From this state, your body operates in the parasympathetic autonomic nervous system. It feels good because in this state the body releases positive natural chemicals such as anandamide, endorphins & serotonin. It feels good for us. It also feels good to others around us. They pick up our energy.
Energy generated
Every human being and every thing in the universe is actually just energy. We're simply vibrating atoms, vibrating at a certain frequency. We know this from the last 100 years of quantum physics.
Your own energy is so important. It helps your body be healthy (or not) and it's the 'vibe' that you give off in the world. Agitation energy is low frequency; it creates fear & anxiety within you & for others around you. Flow energy is higher frequency; it has you relax and it creates trust & flow in others.
Which type are you generating? I invite you to notice the impact that it's having on you - your health, how you feel and your actions; and also to notice the impact on others.
So if you accept that impatience is a bad thing, what can you do about it?
The thinking issue
Impatience is created in your thinking. Whatever you think, you become.
Mahatma Gandhi reminded us: “Your thoughts become your words. Your words become your behaviours. Your behaviours becomes your habits. Your habits become your values. Your values become your destiny”.
If you think you need to get somewhere fast… If you think where you are is not good enough... If you think you don't enough have time… If you think always about the future… then you're being impatient.
It's important to realise that your thinking is confused. And some of it may be deep-rooted. You're likely operating from a bunch of old paradigms which cause you to feel and behave sub-optimally. To transform impatience, you need to become aware of and shift your thinking.
Breath, journal and reflect.
What are you rushing for? Where is there to get to? We live in the illusion that there's somewhere to get to, a destination that we're rushing to reach that is better than where we are right now.
Your thinking is creating a 'reality' that you're living in that isn't real. It's a story that you've created. It's likely to be some form of "when I get to x, I'll be happy". This could be a story just for your tasks today, but it could also be a life-long story. This story may be deep-rooted. You may be able to track it back to childhood. And of course it appears in the fabric of our society too.
It's important to see this is a story that has you constantly on the move. You'll get lots done in your life but how fulfilling is it for you? How present and connected are you with loved ones? What happens when you achieve x? Do you just define another 'x' and carry on running?
I invite you to contemplate on this. How about choosing to live a new paradigm
"My life is exactly as it should be"
"I am where I'm supposed to be right now"
"There is nowhere to get to"
The issue of time
Your thinking about time can also increase the problem. You probably plan and schedule lots in. It's perhaps got even worse in the virtual working world - back-to-back on zoom or Teams all day. Are you a prisoner to doing? A scheduled planned busy life seems to be linked to impatience. You never can have enough time. Every day your to-do list is unlikely to get done.
And the result this may add to your level of dissatisfaction. You may find yourself always clock-watching, not fully present and often thinking about the next thing.
At a deeper level the fear of not having enough time is linked to death. Humans fear death. We fear the ending. When we can accept the ending, when we can accept ageing, when we can accept the years passing, we can sink into the natural cycle of life.
Life is in a natural balance. Things happen as and when they are supposed to. You are where you are supposed to be in every part of your life. Rushing is forcing unhelpfully. Slow down. Be in the present moment. Trust.
Acceptance
Acceptance is an important part of ridding impatience. Accept who you are, accept who you're not, accept where you are, accept where you're not, accept what you've done and what you haven't yet done. Be at peace.
Realise that the mind will always create more to do, more to be, somewhere else to get to… don't get caught in its tricks.
And notice that there's a link between acceptance, patience, tolerance, connection, kindness. The knock-on value of curing your impatience, is that you'll be a more connected friend, a more tolerant partner & parent, a more compassionate work colleague, a more empathic considered leader.
"The more you settle into a deep trust and patience with the rhythm of your own life, the more your heart will open and the softer you will become in your attitude to everything and everyone." Richard Rudd.
Written by Martin Palethorpe (because I also suffer from this disease:)
*Inspiration for this blog came from the Gene Keys (GK no.5), Richard Rudd.
You might like to read our Quality of Mind programmes.
